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tw: eating disorder (not in a pr0-4n4 way, just a little vent)
(Sorry for my bad english lol )
)I feel kinda of ridiculous sometimes when i dress coquette or just more soft-light-feminine looking bcs of the way i look and most of the time i end up just giving up on wear clothes of that style bcs i feel like i'm being judge by other people. I have major self-steen issues + an eating disorder, i feel like a monster trying hard to look like a pretty girl sometimes, no matter how feminine i dress i always feel like i'm being percived as some gross big fat pig. I honestly find fat/chubby woman very pretty and attractive, they look divine and even more cute wearing in this aesthetic! But when it comes to my body those extra pounds make me feel so disgusting. I'm also kinda tall too and sometimes it makes me look more manly (i have a wierd relationship with gender tbh so that's does not bother me sometimes but when i'm trying to feel/dress more feminine it makes everything more awkward), i just feel like a freak bcs of the way i look tbh, i just wanna be a pretty girl, why is this so hard??
I'm also black and my relationship with my hair is very complicated too, i never see any references of coquette black girlys with short curly hair, all of them either have straight hair or a very long perfect curlied hair with no wierd volume or lack of definition, i usually straight it bcs my natural hair is kinda of short and don't make those beautfull ass goddess curls even when i spend hours fixing it.
i really just wanna know if any of you think those sams thoughts so we can support eachother
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