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how do i get a bf :(

im 16 and i haven't even held hands romantically TwT

So many of my friends are/have been in healthy relationships and I just want to have one too :(

I try to talk to people but i always get scared and its super awkward. also theres only like 60 people total in my year level at my school - and majority of them majorly suck. also a lot of them make fun of me for being emo, and i think there's only like 2 other vaguely alternative people in my entire school (and they're both girls) so there goes my dreams of an emo bf ig

i've been told that the best way to form a connection is to just talk to people but there's no-one who wants to talk to me (outside of weirdos who just want my body). does anyone have any tips for talking to people? i'm super socially awkward and i prefer not to talk most of the time cause i tend to stutter my words a lot. 

i just want a bffff :(((


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Reply by ♱ ILYA ♱

posted

I’m so sorry! I totally get what you mean. My school is really small too, and I’m always made fun of for simply existing (?). I can tell you, people are probably just jealous of your own ability to be yourself, even when conformity is so normal. I also know what it’s like to feel like you have to be with someone cuz everyone around you is. Truth is, you deserve to be loved for who you are, and never diminish your own values and who you are just to be able to say you’re “dating” someone. You are loved.


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Reply by aerin

posted

you're 16, a bf is not hugely important at the moment. besides, you'll find as you get older and have more autonomy your circle will expand and you will meet more people in places you won't expect. 


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Reply by René Gusto

posted

Seems like you want a bf because others have one. This is a form an evolutionary psychology known as female intrasexual completion. You brain wants you to compete with the other girls to show you are just as good as them. This is normal but you need to know this so you can make better decisions.

From a rational view point getting a bf at this stage is a bad idea. The guys in your school will be their lowest ability to deal with a relationship and have no real experience or understanding of 'women' (Weird to say that because you're basically a child to me lol). They will get things wrong by having expectations because they believe, due to bad schooling, that men and women are born the same but this is false; men and women are different.

In summary, don't sweet it hun! A guy will come along in the uni years who will be good for you. Now is a bad time. Get through school, lol.  


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Reply by Haley

posted

Sometimes the best bet is to let them come to you. Keep your mind open to people, but don't force anything. 


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