Mother Internet

Hear me out... How about we personalize the internet is this woman who is on edge I mean holy shit her mental status and teetering and do not want to get her annoyed at all and tends to help a bit but also screw you over, and just has things like the internet explorer logo and such like you see a Netscape navigator skip helm, And if you dig enough you'll find a modem somehow still going. Also her slang is just a combo between the 90's to now like imagine someone having there slang be something like uh... "Like that is totes so skibidi that it's savaged brah." And again... she is on edge so... she may or may not reveal your ip address. And this is probably not entirely accurate since she's the internet and I can barley understand somehow of the things that happen here alot.

Anyone else have any ideas to this to add or remove on?
Just wanna know. :>
Commas