perhaps it's the pandemic years that fucked me up, perhaps it's the effects of autism (something that i for real have, and makes life both good and bad in equal-ish measures)
maybe it's my habit of awkwardness, maybe it's being just prone to emotional self destruction
maybe it's my intense oversharing that at first was not a problem but keeps reappearing every fucking year, maybe it's the sheer fact that i don't regularly got cash on me
but like fuck man, i could be a better person- and i'm working on that constantly
but damn man, social life in high school is a hard thing to crack man
how the fuck do i figure that shit out?