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I'm a trans dude, and gay, but I had some girlfriends before I came out as trans and realized that I was, in fact, into guys.
My first ever gf was in 6th grade, she was super sweet, and we met in math class. After a few months however, she broke things off during lunch. No big deal, I understood. Except for the fact that she brought SEVERAL of my bullies with her to break up and immediately got into a relationship with one of them afterwards. We're on good terms now, but since I moved to the next town over after seventh grade, we only contact each other out of necessity (usually for old yearbook stuff since I didn't buy one in middle school).
Whatever, I move on and start dating a different girl while in the middle seventh grade. I think a friend introduced us, but I remember that we started dating shortly after meeting. Our relationship lasted about ten months. We used to go to the school field on breaks to meet, since our field was used as a public park after hours. It was great. Five months in, we go on a break because of bullying at school, but agree not to be with anyone during this break. Unfortunately, a good friend of mine approaches me and asks if I am still dating her, to which I tell them about our break. She immediately becomes upset and explains that she ended up being intimate with her. I know, really weird that middle schoolers are doing that, and I totally agree. I talk to my gf about this, and she says that it was to get my attention because she wanted to be intimate with me. I tell her she can just talk to me when she wants to communicate and that I was young, and I don't want to be intimate. She apologizes and we go off our break and are openly a couple again. A few months later, my friend texts me that she was cheating again, this time, brace yourself for this, with her first cousin. I know, yuck. I cry and tell her that I am for sure done this time and she threatens me with violence against me and herself. I tell her that she needs to look at herself and realize that this is disgusting behavior and I block her. She then online stalks me on Instagram trying to get back together with me. I block her and all accounts she can make, and I never look back.
Also at the beginning seventh grade, I also ended up being stalked by a sixteen-year-old, this was resolved by a friend of mine who happened to walk by me while he was holding my hand so tight that if I tried to get away it would break my fingers. I told him that I wanted to catch up with her and told her that I needed him to get away from me. Her friends chased him down the road and she put herself between us. I went home with two friends that day and was always vigilant walking home after that.
I reach my freshman year of high school, and everything is good. I'm over my ex's and ready to date again. I start dating this guy in his sophomore year. We like each other. This guy was polyamorous and talked to me about that before we started dating. I was okay with it and even became friends with his other bf. I find myself drawn towards another guy in my grade who was a friend of mine. I talk to my bf and the other guy together about this and they're both okay with me dating them both. First bf breaks up with me a few months later because we both rushed into the relationship (we started dating not even a week after we met so yeah, very understandable). I'm sad but again, I understand, and I'm still with my second bf. Second bf and I meet another guy who likes us but we're not into him. We both start dating him but break it off, not wanting to lead him on since we thought we could learn to like him but didn't. Second bf starts becoming obsessive and clingy, even physically placing himself in between myself and a friend of mine that I've known since sixth grade and is like family to me. Bf starts being extremely narcissistic and I break up with him in October of our sophomore year, we started dating in December of our freshman year. He clings onto me and won't leave me alone. He then starts getting creepy. I yell at him and tell him that if he's going to be creepy, then I will treat him like a creep. We no longer talk more than a short civil conversation since his parents and stepsister are great people who are trying to make him understand his problems.
Now crushes suck. I met a junior in my German class in my sophomore year. He was really mean. The first time this guy ever spoke to me, he made a joke about me being bullied saying "you look like you get a sexual thing out of being bullied" and then proceeded to be a dick to me for the next two years until he graduated this last year. He was also really odd. He quoted silence of the lambs in a completely silent room before giggling to himself and came to school dressed up as Alex DeLarge last Halloween. Crazy. I have been given nothing but reasons to dislike this guy. The nail in the coffin was that he proceeded to yell the N word several times on mic during an interview with the track team in my school. What. The. Fuck. I immediately lost all interest in him.
Now I don't understand why I attract negative relationships and even worse, stay in them. I have had very few relationships that either; A) End well, or B) aren't just terrible from the start. If anyone could provide any insight, it would be greatly appreciated. I just don't know what to do anymore and I feel like people just want to use me or they just date me out of pity. I don't know anymore. Thanks.
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