How do I know if I’m a lesbian?

You don't have to settle on a label and you can always change it when you want to. I'm not a lesbian so I can't give very specific advice but if that label works for you in attracting the right sort of people and community to you then you're a lesbian. I hope that takes the stress out of finding an answer

First of all, there is nothing wrong with liking women, not predatory, not ugly, not anything, just something that happens in life, to men and to women. Now, it is YOUR life, the people YOU are dating and the people YOU find attractive, not your family, they have their own lifes and it would be very wrong of them to reject you or the person you are dating just because it is not what they were expecting, you are allowed to date whoever you want and your family should only be worried about if that person treats you right or not, nothing else they should be caring about. And last, only you can know if you are a lesbian or not, you can say you are a lesbian if you think you are and then discover you were wrong, there is nothing shameful or evil with that, when I was 13 i used to think I was a lesbian, then I came out as trans and realised I liked men too but it was difficult to me to find the words so I thought i was aroace and then discovered I am not aro and I might be bisexual, I use now "gay" to describe myself. There is nothing wrong with that, just experiment and see what feels right for you and who you are. I hope this helped.

like others said, you dont need to settle on a label. it can take time. i went back and forth for YEARS before settling on lesbian as my label, and tbh you dont even need a label if you dont want to have one or dont feel like any fit. but i do understand that labels can be comfortable for a lot of people, like me!!

this was sorta how my journey went. i thought i liked men for a while, and then tried to imagine myself having a future with one, like you did. that didnt feel right. then i sort of let myself imagine futures with women?? like before i was not LETTING myself do that bc it felt taboo. but when i LET myself do it, i realized that yeah, i actually do like this idea. and i dont like the same idea when a man is in it. therefore lesbian.

idk i just felt like allowing myself to imagine things differently was really helpful for me.

If you like women you're at least bisexual lol (nothing wrong w/ that, your familys opinion sucks)

like a lot of people said u dont need to use a label if your not ready to but I think you might have internalized homophobia since u feel selfish and "predatory", there's nothing wrong with thinking you might like women it might take some time to know what to label yourself as if you do want to