Yeah, I agree. Been a while since I last touched DDLC (and I haven’t even looked at the extra content), but the whole reason (iirc) she was so adamant on being an option for the player was because she, well, was never an option in the first place AND the player was the only other person who actually knew they were in a game. All the fucked up stuff that happens in the game wasn’t intentional; I’m pretty sure it was mostly just the consequence of her fucking up the game’s code (and she even apologizes for making you see those things, I think...? Or she at least feels bad). It’s a bit hard to even label her aggressive actions (AKA making her friends intentionally worse and the like) as yandere/obsessive imo since Monika acknowledges that her friends aren’t really...real in the first place, so it’s not like she’s hurting real people in her eyes.
I understand how people could see her as yandere because...yeah, she’s lonely and obviously will latch onto the first person who is on the same level as her, making a good backstory for yandere tendencies. However, like I said before, a lot of the game’s violence comes from the fact that Monika just wasn’t a dating option. Therefore, I really wonder if she would truly do all that if she was an option from the start... In my personal opinion, she’d likely still be desperate but I don’t think she’d go as far as to obliterate her opponents and/or the entire game :o If I remember it correctly, she does like her friends, even if she knows they aren’t real
I know yanderes aren’t all the same and all have different reasons for acting a certain way but Monika was just desperate for someone who actually understood her (in terms of, well, knowing they’re in a game lol). She wasn’t obsessive over the player specifically; I think she would’ve been the same towards anyone who could’ve broken the fourth wall. She also didn’t want the player to be hers; she just wanted a real person and, in turn, a real connection.
and, like you said, i think the ending kinda eliminates the yandere idea anyway because monika clearly took the player’s hint and backed away once she realized the player didn’t feel the same way