Are you in a cult?

Welcome the wired. Let's all love Lain.

i was raised in a christian cult too, and now i am scared of churches :')

Honestly, with everything being revealed about pastors and churches lately, I believe that Christianity in general is a pedo-harboring cult. The whole thing. That's why they're pointing fingers and pushing blame on the LGBT+ community so hard right now. Because they're being found out. They're the ones that have a lot of explaining to do if the end days do come. 

I was in one (That might, and I'm sure is a cult) that grew on my town, they still are around but way lesser people thankfully, but to make it a nice summary and rundown I'll start by stating that around my teenage days I never really got any friends to hang out with so my only remedy was to shelter on books. Quickly I found a fascination on learning new information, and even quicker than I could've possibly realize I finished my bookshelf, and my familiars too. 

My only response in that was to go to a local bibliotheca where I could just grab a book and sit outside to read it, that's when I first met the person who got me in it, an older person who knew about anything I'd ask him, who had his views polished on everything I could bring myself to talk about. Normally he approached me with the excuse of seeing me daily and having a book he liked a lot. 

Later that year, I mean months of talking each other, he gave me his phone and an address to go to chill with him and his friends. I felt naturally, part of something, of a group. And It was amazing when it started, I went there and had some good listenings to music I never heard about, I was taught languages and authors and Ideas by all these academically formed men, like if I was part of them ignoring the fact I was half their age.

I spent about 3 years in that "friend circle" and as I got older they invited me to more and more things, ranges from fishing a lake near our town or going out the state for two weeks touring. What started as my safe place quickly began to grow massively into a sectary sort of organization where the plaza we occupied became their quarters, and those grown friends I made with my juvenile lenses of acceptance quickly faded when I noticed all the internalized disgust in other people who didn't fit our semantics.

And that was when It hit me like a truck when I noticed us in a video, we were called a fan club in a local newspaper, we all talked about the same points of religiousness affection, in the same patterns, we did the same movements with our hands when we explained to the reporter what our club was about, we all dressed in the same colors and clothing's with minimal differences like, shades and items. I felt distrust on myself for the first time over my friend group but the important and dangerous thing is, they weren't my something something boss, or delegate, they were my considered friends and they showed me respect and trust over the years, so I couldn't hold myself to give up on them (and mostly because they were my only friends) 

I luckily left the country due to a promise of a better life, but some events that are stuck with me is how casually we as a collective thing marginalized ourselves on ideas of companionship, everyone knows the navy seals cliche of burning or branding the new person of the company, think of that but in cutting, I still have scars left on my fingers from all those show offs of united men. It contains many many more things as you can imagine since I made a safe for work summary of what was 3 years of every other day immersion into a patch of mentally unwell but charismatic men. The full history contains drugs, illicit acts and to my shame, human connections.

I've gotten close so many times, dude.  My OCD/STPD wants to me to be in a cult soooo bad; Im attracted to the boomer pastel crystal aesthetic and corny western Hinduism for some reason.  Luckily I snap out of it every time.

Иногда мне кажется, что все христиане сектанты. Хотя моя сестра христианка, которая просто помешана на религии, пытается всех загнать в церковь. Мама против ее веры.