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how do i made friends irl?

Posted by kittyink

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Forum: Helping each other

Hi im new here i found out abt spacehey a day ago! I really wanted to try it out you guys seem nice and I wanted to ask how do I make friends irl? I'm very awkward in public and sometimes I'm even scared to compliment someone I barely go outside not because I don't want to its because my mom doesn't want to.. I feel stuck I feel lonely when I see a huge group of friends during lunch talking about whatever they want without getting judged and I'm just there in my class alone eating a sad-looking sandwich :')  I tried to make myself look more decent (I usually just wear leggings and a hoodie I stole from my dad and the first shoes I find under my bed) I wore the trendy clothes my classmates had (never doing that again)! But it seemed to not work... What should I do? ,':/ I want to do more in my life I want to meet new ppl but I can't get my parents especially my mom won't let me and I'm also very busy because I have piano lessons and I have to study just a LOOOOT of school stuff (please be nice this is my first time posting a blog online and if I remember abt this acc I can give you guys some updates! and I won't reply that fast because I have to study now) 

that's all thanks for reading and if it didn't make that much sense I'm sorry :'D English is not my first language! bye have a nice day/night!~

(update)

hello! its been 2 months and I've read the replies and I want to thank you guys from the bottom of the bottom of the bottom and of the bottom of my heart! next year I'm starting high school so its new people some students from there showed me around and it look BIIIIG its so tall and I get very overstimulated and overwhelmed because its probably 2x occupied as my other school and I also saw videos they gave me a huge confident boost i like your ideas i'll give you guys more updates when i start school thank you so much! (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)


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Reply by βαmβαmSησσz

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Not an expert first off, just my own personal experience: A good way to start off conversations is to get people to talk about themselves. Ask them about something they appear to like, like their shirt/hairstyle/etc. Listen to them about stuff they, find a moment to chime in, like: "Oh you like 'x' too?" or "What's 'x'? That sounds cool!" Something along that. People LOVE to talk about themselves, we all want someone who will listen.

Now I think it's obvious you should intentionally try and hangout with people that seem well meaning and good-natured, which you won't always find in big groups as they can tend to be fickle or a bit shallower than smaller groups, which could be a good thing if you are looking for a more casual group of friends that do not require a lot of commitment from your end. Of course you tend to find the opposite in smaller, tight-knit groups that can have deeper relationships. I.E. nerds/losers lol. (just common patterns, nothing I say is exactly holy scripture) However, keep in mind that all groups can have some real weirdos, so it is essential to be a good judge of character, set boundaries, and enforce those boundaries! Do not be afraid to say no, or cut people out of your life, especially if they make you uncomfortable, you do not owe people anything!

Try discussing your own interests, see how well people treat your personal interests. It's expected people will treat you with the same respect you treat them with. But if you don't click, you don't click, and that's fine. There are SO many people around, so it's not a big deal really if you don't like somebody or they don't like you; just move on and find somebody that is worth YOUR time. Put yourself out there, and see who takes interest.


TLDR:

Worthwhile people will like you for who you are- see if you like them!, don't fret when people don't like you as that happens with everyone, put yourself out there and take initiative! Most people won't take interest in a rock, until the rock talks about stuff it likes.


Good luck in your endeavors!


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Reply by graveflower 𓆨 ࣪⋆⭒˚。⋆𖦹

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I would find someone I like irl on social media and make friends with them online first. so that would ease the awkwardness... 


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Reply by tulima

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all the responses r rlly good ways to make friends so listen to those ppl!! friendin more ppl on social media n starting convos w them abt them r rlly good ways of making friends. 

now, the best ways to even find friends irl is in ur classes. i used to b rlly socially awkward but the best way i even had friends throughout my school yr was by befriending ppl who sat next to me. by jus giving ppl a small compliment or even mentioning something abt the teacher or class ur in are good ways to start convos w ppl (from my experience!!) then mayb if u see them on any social medias u can add them n try to even strike up a convo :-)

its good too bc u see them everyday or very often so theres a lot of time to develop a friendship ! then when u befriend one of ur classmates, they might introduce u to their own friends which 

BAM u got a friend grp !!!!

ofc u dont wanna jus b friends w anyone, so make sure u talk abt ur own interests too n not end up in the wrong types of crowds (pressuring u to do shit for them or even making fun of u often) 

i wish u the best of luck :33 !


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