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Breaking news. The Goths are once again raiding Roman settlement on the eastern outskirts of the Empire.

In spite of prominent cavalry general Aurelian defeating the Goths in battle, bringing back many prisoners, the adamant Gothic tribes are continuing to put pressure all along the Danube and heading southwest along the fringes of the empire.

Inside sources report that the Goths have split into the Visigoths and the Ostrogoths. As yet it is undetermined if the split is a result of diverging geography, or ideological differences over which Goths hate the Romans more.

Spies for the empire are returning disturbing reports that the Goths are now building a fleet on the shores of the Black Sea. Aurelian was rumored to remark "Well THAT sucks. It's hard enough beating those morose back eyelinered Cure fans on land, let alone on the sea!"

Gothic boat building at 11:00

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LOL

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Wrapping up this year in the news, Emperor Aurelian has had a tough time of it. Amongst the invading tribes are: The Alamanni, the Juthungi (later to be re-branded Jutes), the Vandals, and various factions of Goths.

In addition to on-going military action against outside tribes, he also puts down revolts by would-be usurping emperors Septimus and Domitian. 

In the midst of all of this, after executing financial minister Felicissimus for corruption, Rome's mint worker's union not only goes on strike, but openly riots.

Aurelian manages to keep in the good graces of the average Roman citizens by increasing the daily bread ration and including pig fat.

When asked for comment, Aurelian blithely retorts "Meh ... win some, lose some. Just wait for next year! We're going after Queen Zenobia!"

Catch the play by play at 11:00

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LMAO! Death threats!! We've got a suspect!

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After ten years as a break-away Empire, Rome finally sorts out Britain. Constantinius I assembles a fleet and invades. The usurper Asclepiodotus is defeated and killed, Britain is once again part of the Roman Empire. 

Emperor Maximian declares that with this defeat Britain will never have an empire of their own.

Irony at 11:00

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Crap! Time and history moved on without me

305 history is important!

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Emperors Constantin and Licinius jointly issue the Edict of Milan ending the persecution of Christians in the Roman empire. Even returning confiscated property.*

*Terms and conditions apply.

It becomes the first declaration in western history for religious freedom.*

*Terms and conditions apply.

Legal fine print at 11:00

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LOL Macey 

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Chinese smarty-pants invents the stirrup! Greatest stability on horseback yet!

We tracked down the inventor, who refused to give his name for security reasons, and asked what inspired him!

"Well ... y'know ... Whenever we all wanted to ride fast ... Umm ... I mean really fast ... A bunch of us would fall the hell off the dang horses! Was getting to be a pain in the ass, really. So I rigged up this ... Wha'cha callit? A 'stirrup'? And BINGO! We can even do tricks!"

Equestrian feats at 11:00

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India mourns as beloved emperor Chandragupta I (no relation to Chandragupta from about six hundred years prior) has passed away.

His son Samudragupta succeeds him and is also well beloved by the people.

Anonymous Roman citizen: "Why can't we get emperors like that?"

Coronation at 11:00

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Ohhh Get Emperors like that? I didn't know what you were talking about for a second there. LOL

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Follow up to last year's news of King Shapur II of Persia sending envoys with gifts to Emperor Constantius II to politely ask for return of ancestral land along the Euphrates, Constantius II tactfully and graciously refused.

Breaking: Shapur II with a Persian army has invaded southern Armenia. Rome stiffens defenses as local forts are besieged.

Siege engines at 11:00

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It's Rome. It'll get worse before it gets better

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Quack

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DUCK! So glad someone's still here after the latest purge! 

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The Roman, previously pagans persecuting Christians, lately Christians persecuting pagans, have now run out of pagans to persecute within the empire. Emperor Valens converts to the Arianism form of Christianity and orders the persecution of Trinitarian Christians. 

The Huns and Alans, temporarily ignored by Rome, decide to go to war with each other. 

Conversions at 11:00

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lol Macey that's classic

Good to see you guys

Quack

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History updates will be back

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Breaking news: Rome invades itself. Magnus Maximus, late of Britannia, who declared himself emperor and seized control of Britannia, Gaul, and parts of Iberia has invaded Italy. Meanwhile, emperor Theodosius I has finally signed a Peace agreement with King Shapur III of Persia and now concentrate more on the western empire. First on his list will be sorting out Magnus Maximus.

Meanwhile, the Tuoba faction of the Xianbei people who may or may not go on to become the Mongolians have broken away politically from the Chinese dynasties of the south. Hopefully they can all live in peace next to one another.

More rebellious factions at 11:00

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Peace is what I’m pulling for