talking about feelings

I'm really sorry you're having to deal with this and I hope it gets better for you. It's never easy to talk about this stuff and it can feel impossible to ask for the help you need. You say you have all your needs met, but is that true? it sounds like a need you have is to be able to talk about your struggles and get support. That's something you deserve to have, and you're not silly, selfish, wrong, or "bitchy" for having these problems or voicing them.

The fact that your parents have briefly spoken to you about your scars and asked you to tell them if anything is wrong, is a good thing even if it wasn't enough. They have opened a door to conversation. This doesn't necessarily mean they will handle it well if you approach them (they might, but I don't know them), but it means there is an opening. I don't know how old you are so it's hard to give specific advice here, but I know when I was a horribly depressed teenager, my mum didn't know what to do, but she knew something was wrong and really wanted to help me; I felt so alone in my struggles and I wish I had felt able to ask her for help.

About your close friends, I guess you can think about it from your own perspective; if one of your friends was in this position and came to you because they had a history of SH and had emotional problems they needed to talk through, what would be your reaction? Personally if it was me, I would want to be given the opportunity to help my friend and would feel sad if they didn't feel they could trust me with their pain. That's not to say you should place their feelings above your own - not at all; this is about figuring out if your friends are the type of people who care for you and would want to be able to help you when you really need it. If you're really not sure about that, I think the only thing to do is to try talking to one of them, and if they don't want to hear it or help you then I suppose you'll have found one more unmet need you have, which is a truly supportive friend. Still, I know the idea of bring it up is really scary. I hope you can bring yourself to do it.

I hope this helps you in some way and I hope you're having an ok (maybe even good) day. 🌻

thank you so much for your advice! I do plan on bringing this up to someone I trust but I'm not sure when, it still feels kind of weird to talk about it bcos I guess I am a really young teen and I don't really know how to do this stuff 

I also hope u have an awesome day! take care :)

Your teen years are such a strange and difficult time for a lot of people - they certainly were for me - and depression is pretty common too, so you are absolutely not alone in this.

Talking about it is always going to be hardest in the beginning, but it will get a little easier each time. It's worth the discomfort if it means you can get help. I want you to know you have made a very important step by simply posting this asking for help online, not everyone is able to do that, and it's great that you've figured out that you need more support from the people around you.

I know it can be hard to know what to say, but the best thing to say is usually the most honest. You can start simple by saying how you've been feeling (sad, angry, depressed, numb, etc.) and if there are specific reasons for those feelings and you feel able to talk about them, you can do that too. You can also say "I really need help" or "I don't know what to do". However you're feeling, for whatever reason, it's ok to feel it and it's ok to say it.

I think you can do it, and I hope it goes well, whenever you feel ready.

I'd also like you to know, from my own experience, that it truly can get better. And not just a little bit better, but a lot better. I have had depression for most of my life, and it has been severe at times. My life is really good now :) I have tried a few different medications (prescribed to me by doctors), therapy, and even a new treatment where they use an electromagnet! it's been a bit of a journey, but each type of treatment has been worth trying, and now I have a combination of things that work well for me, and now I have way more good days than bad.

One of the most important things that has helped me, though, is having supportive people around me. My mum, my partner, my friends and my therapist are all important parts of my support network and I know that if I end up in a really dark place again, I have people who will catch me and help me out of it. So, I really hope you can find that kind of support from the people around you, too. The first step is just to ask for it.

I might be just a stranger on the internet, but I'm cheering for you :)