jealousy

friend of mine attempted afew hours ago but now I don't feel special?? because I really wanted them to be the person I use for comfort and that person can't really be suicidal as well because then they aren't focused on me... I think I'm also misreading how close we are because I got really attached at first but they seemed distant and then it was the whole Rollercoaster if I liked them or hated them... and I thought we were better..

I can't handle other people getting more pity or attention than me?? I always want to be a top priority at least to someone...  I know how unreasonable it is, Luke I'm not even that hot... but still you know??

I really considered diy death today, but you see I got an appointment to get me on medication in 2 days. so I feel like I should at least give it a try before attempting again..