Some Poetry I've Written Recently

Step-Father.

“I can do this.” you thought ; and even if you can’t, you have to.

You’ll survive, somehow, you always do.

Nobody is coming to save you,

Get up.

You have cried all your tears

And all that is left is

ANGER.

You met evil as a small child

And the word father rotted in your mouth.

Your angelic eyes saw

The good

In a devil.

But nobody who’s smart plays fair.

And something he did, made your eyes go cold.

So much pain for someone so young,

“You shouldn’t be this tired at this age.”

But you are.

And you will be.

Because you remember

Remember everything.

War.

We are just kids who grew up too fast

We are not supposed to be heroes

Or saviors. 

Am i supposed to be grateful

To have survived this?

I miss myself

I miss the way I used to be.

I want to go back to a time

Before it was too late.

I didn't tell anyone

Because nobody asked.

But this is who we are.

A product of war.

War on ourselves,

Our people.

War on the very fiber of human existence. 

Dreamer.

Sometimes

Late at night

Our memories leak out of my eyes

And onto my cheek.

Sometimes

I need to remember 

I walked away from the person you’ve become

Not the person I fell in love with.

Sometimes

I try to feel for someone new

But everytime i think

About how they aren't like you.

I've been blocked,

And deleted,

Talked of,

Then repeated,

I am everything with you

And nothing without.

But I know you will never come back.

And that stings worse than any paper cut.

Burnt Pages.

I want to hate you,

Because you left.

I want to hate you because

You promised you wouldn't

I want to hate you because

You moved on,

But i can only hate myself

For not being good enough.

I did not want this to be a lesson

I wanted it to be love.

But the only one that loved me

Was the person i met at the start of the story

And this is the last chapter.

Creation.

I was never broken.

I watched someone i loved

Love someone else.

And i thought that was the lowest i could ever feel,

Until I realized you never loved me.

You loved the idea of me.

And I created my own heartbreak.

Requiem for a Lost Lover.

You avoid attachment because

You fear abandonment,

You avoid people because 

You fear love.

You avoid life because 

You fear death.

Silly boy.

You feel as though 

You do not belong

In anybody’s memories

Yet you take up all of mine.

FEAR.

I’m scared this is all i am,

And all I ever will be.

A stealing,

Loathing,

Selfish,

Ridiculous

Human being.

A thief.

A hardass.

A snitch.

I’m scared that 

Even though i do

The right things most of the time,

That a few bad things

Will haunt me forever.

Sick.

The last time i saw a photo of us

I lost my appetite.

The smell of your cologne

Makes me nauseous. 

I loved you so much

It makes me sick.

I had to burn your clothes

For satisfaction

And only then

Did my stomach settle.

But somehow,

Every once in a while,

I crave your love and affection.

And I feel as though,

My appetite stirs once more.

Falling.

I am a writer

Perhaps because I am

a talker.

I write because

Perhaps there is a voice

Inside me that will not

Stop rattling.

I am overflowing with

Words I do not have

The courage to say out loud.

Yet i only write when

I am falling in love,

Or falling apart.