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ADDICTION

You have stripped me of everything i had, of everything i wanted.
My illusions, people, and i dont blame you, because i will never be able to forgive myself.
I am the only one in this inmense chaos.
Why did i act like that? i dont know.
I dont even know myself.
I deserve eternal punishment, never leave so no one can have this horrendous thing before them.
I feel absolute vunerability.
Eternal happiness or sadness, black or white, never grey in between.
I think i will be better, but i dont deserve compassion, not even a bit.
I carry an amorphous mind incapable of coping until the last of my days.
I dont want to continue suffering, not like this, not in this way.
Horrible, because no one deserves it except me.


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