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Does modern social media strain communication?

Hello! I posted this as a personal bulletin but it created an interesting discussion so I thought I'd post it here.

Does anyone else find it hard to actually talk to people
casually/make friends on modern social media? (Twitter/Insta/TikTok
etc). I feel like the focus so much is getting likes/views/retweets etc
and maybe responding to some comments, but its actually hard to strike
up a conversation with new people/make new friends cause there's such a
focus on numbers each person has. For example, people treat you
differently because you have a lot of followers, or you feel you can't
message someone because they have a lot of followers etc, compared to a site like this that uses a "friend" system so when you add someone the number of friends will go up for both people mutually. It's like modern social media divides people into classes, there's people with lots of followers and people with few followers.

Maybe social media now is actually isolating us more rather than bringing people together.

But
I remember it used to be a lot easier to start chatting/messaging with
other people on the old internet. How do other people feel? Just
something that was on my mind. Thanks for reading!


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Reply by unrestedjade

posted

Oh, I think it's absolutely harder to talk casually on modern socials. The metrics discourage people with "small" accounts until they give up talking or sharing. That 1 like and 0 shares is essentially telling them "shut up, nobody cares," even if a lot of the time it's just that the site's algorithm is making it so hardly anyone can see the posts in the first place. On the other end of the scale, people with visibly high numbers get elevated to being little celebrities, and I'm sure that can feel crummy, too, as people start seeing them as content machines instead of peers. It's very weird.

Forums definitely develops their own social pecking orders, but those numbers ticking up and down just hit different. :(



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Reply by Aliyah

posted

I agree. People are more focused on getting content out that will be popular more than anything. I understand social media is a business/job for some. But it's like social media platforms cater to the business part of it more than the social part, so the only thing that matters is how good you are doing on a metric/algorithm system.  


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Reply by KeikoKup

posted

Honestly even as someone who relies on social media to get business (I'm a freelance illustrator) I try to only use it to post art and log off, because if I stay on it long I feel my mental health declining.


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Reply by 💋

posted

i think making friends in person is easier.. when i was like 17 on tumblr it thought it was important to make friends online


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Reply by unrestedjade

posted

Oof, yeah I really feel for artists. It seems like twitter and instagram in particular have y'all over a barrel. I hope something changes soon, because most of the indie alternative I see geared toward art don't have much in the way of getting your work in front of an audience/client base and are more geared around artists networking amongst themselves. That's fine for hobbyists like me, but it's not good enough for freelancers.


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Reply by frogteeth64

posted

 Yeah I totally agree. I think on most of the popular social media platforms these days the goal is popularity rather than connection with other people. I used to spend a lot of time on instagram and I tried to get more popular on an art account (thought it would make me actually like what I made if enough other people did) and usually my interactions with people was kind of hollow. Like at best I got a well thought out comment on a post and I said thank you and maybe liked and commented on some of their posts and that was it. I had a couple people that I could maybe consider instagram friends but we really barely talked other than complimenting eachother's posts and then saying like "thank you! <3". Also tiktok and twitter have character limits so that isn't great for talking to people either. I don't really message people but I think the main thing I do on spacehey is talk to people. I've been on here since summer and I think I'm better friends with people I've known for a few months on here than the people I knew for 1 or more years on instagram. The only like big social media I can think of that prioritizes communication is discord. 


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Reply by nights :)

posted
updated

yes and no.


pros:
  • algorithms, despite their flaws, make it easier to find things that you'll like and make it easier to seek things out you never would've found yourself. this leads you to more likeminded people than you may have found before.
  • social media encourages the "splintering" of culture into multiple groups, making there be less of an emphasis on a single "popular culture", putting culture into the people's hands.  
  • if you don't like something that's seemingly everywhere, you can just mute/block it and never see it again, while not having to unfriend or unfollow people you like.
  • talking to someone over social media isn't that different from talking to them on any other website or in person, for that matter. it's the formatting of it and how little self-awareness people have in navigating that format that strains it.
cons:
  • turning internet communication into a "numbers game" where followers, likes, and reposts > talking and sharing ideas. this makes any sort of meaningful discussion or stuff like "discourse" pretty much useless, because people will exaggerate important things for the purpose of getting more clout. it's not impossible, but just murkier, because literally anyone with an opinion can get enough traction if they make a good enough "zinger". this encourages people to do less research, believe things at face value, and develop "black and white" ways of viewing the world.
  • with the emphasis on numbers, communication on social media emphasizes the concept of "self promotion" (think people promoting themselves under a tweet that got 10 retweets saying "this blew up!"), which i'd say is more annoying than anything. pretty much all communication w/ someone is transactional like this.
  • elaborating on my last point - people call their posts "content" now and expect people to send them money because they have a lot of followers (or call themselves "content creators"), which i think is extremely silly. but this is more about the devaluing of art and conversation than about communication.
  • you can't exactly make "friends" or "mutuals" on social media very easily because of the shift in importance to following people who you like the posts of.  like you said, you're treated differently if you have a large amount of followers. that's why there's a huge spike in the ubiquitousness of parasocial relationships, even with the smallest of accounts - the more engagement your posts have, the more apparent worth you have. "social groups" on these tend to be clique-y and elitist - the "bigger accounts" are all friends with each other, then the "medium", then the "small"...it's considered "weird" to reply to someone you don't know if they don't follow you. 
i'm a fan of modern social media, and the concept of social media in general, because it lets me stay connected to the wider world & what i care about without having to do a whole lot of social legwork. as someone who prefers to keep to myself, it's nice knowing what's going on while being able to be a hermit. but it's definitely a system that could use improvements.

honestly, though, stuff like discord and tiktok seem like a nice break from stuff like twitter and tumblr and humanize interactions with people a bit, but they still have their flaws - discord groups are private unless you promote them, and tiktok, even if it shows you random posts it thinks you may like, emphasizes certain posts over others. i think that all the bad stuff i mentioned are things that are the fault of the corporatization of the internet. everyone with a brain's already noticed, and it will eventually pass, or at least shift significantly. 


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Reply by oakleythespaceman

posted

Calling it social media is almost a misnomer at this point.


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Reply by oakleythespaceman

posted

Calling it social media is almost a misnomer at this point.


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Reply by Elliejojo

posted

Tis like the old saying; "The more we elaborate our means of communication, the less we communicate."


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Reply by ladyjetblack

posted

Instagram is actually pretty depressing I had to deactivate mine because I felt like my mental health was declining and I'm 26...I could only imagine what the younger generation must feel 


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Reply by ~*flytillidie*~

posted
updated

I think social media rewards people who say the most outlandish shit because it garners attention and engagement. It's not a great place to have good conversations if you are always trying to appeal to a certain crowd


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Reply by Kevin

posted

Anything with likes/upvotes tends to devolve into a bit of a mess.


People care more about clout than... well, than the people. There's a dopamine high from the constant notifications, telling us about new followers and likes on our content. It incentivizes people to make things a very shallow popularity contest to chase the next high and get that dopamine reward.

One example we all know and love is Facebook. Facebook makes serious money off pages, and forces page admins to buy more reach and ad space. You can't even be seen on most of your followers' timelines unless you want to pay real money (or if the follower turned on notifications).


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Reply by selachiibait

posted

i kinda think so lol
i feel like it promotes being terminally online
i know a couple of people whove gone far down the twitter pipeline and its terrifying how people fight over literally nothing :p


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Reply by Phunkjack

posted
updated

Honestly speaking I do feel a General disconnection when it comes to modern social media, like is not as easy to just wanting to make friends with someone on twitter dms, and often they find most of them intruded which is understandable specially on twitter, almost everyone respects everyone's boundaries but even if you have made mutuals there, still does not guarantee you can talk to them on dms and hoping you can be friends with them, I do believe the reason why is there boundaries is because of the amount of toxicity there has been in recent years on the site, the dramas, problems, the amount of politic stuff there has been has made the site feel unpleasant, and it sucks that the only way to get your art recognized is goin through sites like twitter, I rather use instagram but heck, i hate how twitter has changed and how bad lt has become, wish I can just meet peeps, talk and socialize normally without all of that bs that normally happens from the day to day basis there 


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Reply by Xx-Dart-Darling-xX

posted

Oh yeah definitely. I've made so many friends on Tumblr and absolutely none on TikTok, which I've been on for years, since musical.ly. It's so algorithm oriented that while showing you user created content, you forget that it's even a community at all.


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Reply by Cleo

posted

Absolutely!  Making online friends in this age is almost awkward and you just feel annoying. Plus bots make it hard to gain friends on Instagram. I never used any other social media so I can't speak about that. But you really notice it on Instagram bc the focus is set far from friends. 

Great post 


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Reply by Suffering Incorporated™

posted

yeah maybe i'm just bad at it but the few 'friends' i've made online (tumblr and discord are what i use) are just somebody i add and then never speak to again. tumblr is a little better since we see and reblog eachothers' stuff but we don't talk. maybe i should just do it? i certainly wouldn't mind if someone messaged me to talk though i would take like 10 mins to decide if my response is good.


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Reply by Lynx!

posted

i feel very isolated on pretty much any social media that isn't dedicated to chat. even though you see tons of people. this doesn't explain it well, but they just don't feel real for some reason


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Reply by virtualperversion

posted

Reply by blueboy0309

posted

It doesnt help that social media literally creates celebrities nowadays. Im glad ppl can make livings w online stuff but i find it disheartening that the internet is just seen as a cash cow now.


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Reply by EmelyRoberson

posted
updated

Hey, you've put into words exactly what I've been feeling! It's like modern social media has become a numbers game that makes genuine connections harder. I'm with you on this one – it feels a bit isolating now. By the way, have you thought about giving your content a little boost, and get real SoundCloud plays? It's about focusing on the actual engagement rather than just numbers.


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Reply by jovan

posted

I think another thing that contributed to that that definitely hasn't helped is current social media is the personalization turning very limited, you can't really make your own space on the internet but rather have to express yourself and whatnot on a very limited format, essentially making it quite impersonal.


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Reply by wired.knight

posted

oh it totally is the net is so numbers focused and almost everyone wants to be famous although i was'nt here for  the "good days" i've seen the slow removal of social features from the big site and the only thing we have left is a teeny tiny bio box that people just stuff with links


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Reply by Sukhoi

posted

[ES]

Las redes sociales están hechas para ser adictivas, te muestran solo cosas y gente que comparte el mismo pensamiento que tú para que te sientas más cómodo porque todos siguen apoyando sus mismas ideas entre sí, lo he sentido en piel propia como es que ver una gran cantidad de "me gusta" en un comentario o publicación te hacen sentir bien. A la gente le gusta saber que los demás están de acuerdo con ellos.

/

[EN]

Social networks are made to be addictive, they only show you things and people who share the same thoughts as you so that you feel more comfortable because everyone continues to support their same ideas with each other, I have felt it firsthand how it is to see a great number of likes on a comment or post makes you feel good. People like to know that others agree with them.


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Reply by Natethanael

posted

I do use Discord and have made some good friends on there. I am trying to not use it as much because it feels super corporate, nitro adds everywhere.

I definitely agree with this post because I have accounts for tumblr, facebook, etc. but they are alll dead accounts for a reason. Glad this place exists :)


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Reply by smmpak12

posted

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Reply by xxRebellious_Emmaxx

posted

Yes, and that's why I don't use them. Never have and never will. The only social media accounts I have out there are on this website and YouTube.


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