WHERE IS SHOHEI OHTANI GOING???

Shohei Ohtani is probably the biggest MLB free agent ever and is probably going to make 500 million dollars or something ridiculous but the question is WHO IS GOING TO GIVE IT TO HIM???

Obviously it has to be someone with the cold hard cash which rules out like half the league. REALISTICALLY it's all but guaranteed to be the Dodgers (I'd kill myself) but I've seen Seattle, SF, the Cubs, both New York teams, and Houston thrown around. What do the humble folks of SpaceHey think his decision will be? Where are you desperately praying he WON'T go? Would you storm your team's front office if they don't sign him? Giants fans probably would.