small vent

(Tw as this may trigger derealization/personalization. This isn't me faking/trying to seem like I have anything, don't worry, I'm not like that. This is truly what I think. I'll get to doing normal stuff after this, so thing won't be a common thing Anyone who relates to what I'm going through and wants to give advice, please comment.) I feel like a mask the original me put on. I feel like maybe she created me for a reason I don't know. It just feels weird. Its like the original me is gonna "take me off" and then I'll die or disappear forever. I'm not mentally ill, so I know this isn't a delusion. It's just scary.

I'm also mad at almost everyone. Everyone's against me except my dad. I can tell they talk about me behind their backs, and it's horrible. Some of them steal stuff from me or want to. The kids in my class all hate me except for maybe 3, and they don't like me that much. I have to sit alone everyday. When I sit with my friends, I can tell they don't really care about me. They never invite me to do anything, and I can hear them talk to each other about stuff they did over the weekend without me. I think they even have a group chat that I'm not in, and I'm not in ANY group chat they have. 

There's so many awful things happening in the world, and I can barley do anything. I can only sit there and watch stuff go down.

Everyday is the same thing, and it just repeats over and over. There's no way I can break the cycle. Life seems so boring yet stressful at the same time.

Anyways, that's the end of this vent, thank you for reading if you have.