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anxiety towards my future (advice would be nice<3)

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Posted by WitchGoblin

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Forum: School, College, University

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kind of an incoherent rant of a drop out, be warned.

so im a 4 time high school drop out, and im trying high school again this year and im really struggling even though all my classes are very basic and easy to do (art, creative writing, food studies, etc). i really want to go to college but school is just a constant unending burden on my shoulders, everything i do feels like im failing and im riddled with anxiety at the slightest things. completing easy tasks like "write 3 sentences on this news article" takes so much out of me that i can barely complete two assignments a day, i also have trouble understanding how to do assignments even if its written clearly and all my peers seem to understand it. i cant focus for shit either and im constantly distracted/doing the wrong thing. having anxiety and depression probably doesnt help me either.

I really want to go to an art school (for animation and character design) if i actually manage to graduate but my father refuses to pay for any sort of art career as he says i cant make a living off of art, so if i do manage to maybe finish high school ive decided to go for a masters in archival science and a minor in liberal arts cuz being an archivist is honestly the only kind of job not related to art that my brain could actually do. but the problem is im chronically stupid so i dont think itll work out, honestly i might just not bother with any post secondary education and just draw porn for furries, even though i really want to have a college experience but i just dont think its gonna be possible with me.

an other thing that bothers me if i do go to college is that I'll be at least like 3 years older then my fellow freshmen and i feel like that'll impact my social life/how people see me.


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Reply by paragon

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I was also a multi-time-drop out...I will speak frankly, so you will forgive me for being blunt and rude.
There are two things that likely apply to you. You most likely have some sort of disability related to learning/focus. You also do not seem to have much resilience in pushing through the lame parts of life (like schoolwork).
If possible, I would see a doctor about the first problem. The second issue is not so easily solvable, but can be alleviated slowly by continuing to work hard and doing what is not immediately pleasant. I would recommend reading stuff that you're not a huge fan of to passively work on the issue - something like the newspaper or hobby magazine if you're not up for regular books.
I'm sorry to say, but post-secondary education is going to chew you up. I worked as a tutor with disadvantaged student such as yourself, and I've seen the struggles that people like you have, not because you are stupid, but because you lack the "natural student" skills that people who have had standard education experiences have had. Before you go to any sort of college, consider again working on the issues spoken of above. Also, do not feel ashamed to take on a "low quality" job in the meantime. Yes, even fast food. It will suck, but it will definitely increase your resilience as a person, and you don't have to work there for very long to see the personal benefits.
As for your age and social life, typically age isn't really a big deal as long as you're not in your 30s (because then you look like a graduate student). What's more likely is that as a spacehey user you inherently stand out like a weirdo (don't ask me how I know that).


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