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How do I not be the friend on the fringe of friend groups? [closed]

Lately I’ve begun to notice that part of why I don’t end up with friendships that last very long is because I’m never part of the group, I’m like on the fringe of the friend group and I’m only friends with one or two people in it. I’m sick of losing friends because they chose to stay in contact with the group and not me and I just want to feel some semblance of belonging. This whole thing has not been helping my abandonment issues and only worsened them and I feel like I just end up hanging on to the few friends I do have really hard so they don’t leave, I just want to have a group, I want to feel like I belong, and I want to stop losing friends, how do I stop being the friend on the fringe?

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Reply by arlo atomickk


friend groups are very complicated because its difficult for everyone to be equally connected with one another, especially if they are big groups. it is actually very normal for friend groups to have little subsections of friends who will hang out with one another. you shouldn't try to pressure yourself to be equally liked by everyone and if they seem to ignore or forget about you, then they aren't worth your time! 

focus on your relationship with the people you ARE friends with in the group. and if they seem fickle because of the pressures of the group... they aren't true friends!! Perhaps group settings just don't work for you that well, instead you should try smaller groups or just 1 on 1 settings.

idk if this helped at all but i tried my best

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Reply by UrlocalPossum


I’ll try, it’s just hard because I feel like I need that sense of belonging to feel like I’m a person, maybe I rely on other people too much to define who I am, but I’ll try.

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Reply by ✰ brianna ✰


I remember my best friends drifted away from me once I became pregnant and they started hanging out together without me. I've tried to talk to them to make plans and they never fell through so I said forget them. I had other friends that I hung out with but weren't very close, but I decided to let those friendships grow. I also went on the app bumble bff for a bit and met another close friend there and we've been friends for a little over a year now.

Try to become comfortable with being alone (this is what helped me figure out who I am). I also agree with the advice that V3NOM BO1 said. Try hanging out one-on-one, and if that doesn't really work I would try and look for some new friends. Friends will come, it just takes time ya know? I'm still working on putting myself out there haha

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