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Returning to Therapy... or am I?

I started therapy a couple of years ago, and for a while, I wanted it to work, but...
  • I wasn't given an appointed until I was in real danger.
  • My psychiatrist kept switching meds from one month to another.
  • My psychologist, when prompted, said "What do you want a diagnosis for, anways?" and never gave me one.
  • My second psychiatrist immediately offered to change for a male psychiatrist as soon as she saw me.
Which is to say, I'm very reticent to start therapy again, since they all looked more interested in keeping me down and far from the headlines than in making me better. Bear in mind that as a thirldworlder I depend on public healthcare and whatever doctors are on duty, so I can't be picky.
I really need to get better, and back in the day I was on five different medications, but... How can I build confidence to return?

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Reply by ArcadeDan


I mean I feel like with anything, it's all about ACTUALLY wanting to do it. Most people have it in their heart that they need to do it, but can sum the energy because they're not motivated. For me, how I rectify it is by staying in my head and constantly asking "what do I really want".

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Reply by Dead Weight


Solid advice TBQFH. But it's quite scary to me in a lot of senses, namely:
  • What if I waste my time and health with useless professionals?
  • What if I open up too much and end up in the padded room?
  • What if some real change happens and my whole paradigm shifts completely?
In the end it's about fear, an emotion I can't get away from... without therapy.
Dagnabbit >_<

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