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Anyone else struggle to find and click with other autists?

I don't know if it's just an age gap thing or different culture of generation or what but I just cannot relate to other autistic people anymore. Very rarely I will still meet someone and we relate to each other, but the majority of the ones I meet these days just don't click with me. I even question if they really are autistic, which I know it's not the same for everyone and it's a spectrum and all that, but I dunno I just don't see any of the traits or symptoms in them. 

It's weird to me cause a decade ago while other autists were uncommon, when I did meet them we always seemed to be similar in at least one way and I can only explain it as if "It's like I am meeting my people, my own kind" Now days it feels like instead they have other mental disorders and they treat autism more like a symptom rather than an actual disorder.

Some days I also feel like I can't talk about the symptoms I used to be so open about and others related to.

  • Can't talk about having a learning disability cause "That's a horrible thing to say about yourself! No one is stupid!"
  • Can't talk about my poor motor skills cause then everyone feels the need to comfort me or push me into things I am uncomfortable doing because of my poor motor skills. (Flashbacks to people trying to push me into raiding in MMOs and I could tell they were wanting to scold me so badly but the fear of cancel culture probably made them feel like they needed to sugarcoat things for me)
  • Can't talk about how I am proud to be a blunt person cause then everyone is gonna whine everyone is supposed to be nice and be friends with everyone.
  • Can't talk about having little to no desire to make friends anymore cause people will right away assume I'm hurt and broken and need to be 'fixed' or I have to be lectured "But most people in the world are good people" (Which funny enough I disagree with)

It often feels like my experiences are invalid cause they're 'negative stereotypes' while symptoms that can very easily be vague or are common in other illnesses are only brought up. So it makes me wonder if it's so hard is because people like me are getting shunned and hidden by other people, wish I knew where everyone else could be hiding. 

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Reply by xxRebellious_Emmaxx


Personally, my problem is being so high functioning to the point where I sometimes doubt that I'm actually on the spectrum (despite having an official diagnosis and having some traits) and start wondering if it's really just another condition like ADHD instead (not even as a comorbid, but just inattentive ADHD itself). It doesn't help that I was born partially deaf due to a fluid and wax buildup in my ears that was treatment resistant to both medications and standard ear tubes, which was finally surgically suctioned out when I was 2 years old.

Maybe that's just because I'm very high functioning and seem to connect best with other Aspies and those with ADHD, I don't know. I don't relate as well with level 2 and 3 autistics nor do I relate as well with neurotypicals. It's like I'm completely between those 2 sides of the fence.

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