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poetry... thoughts?

I'm not new to poetry, but I'm not exactly good at poetry.


A pretty natural life


Green leaves, perfect trees,

All green, like grass on a perfect evening

Pretty bushes, everywhere you look

A green look, wherever I look

I want to go wherever that is!


Nice pretty blue sea’s

This time, not covered in green,

River steams, bluer than blue blueberries,

Blue Fish in the sea, 

like the sky on a perfect morning

Where Wherever you look is blue!

I want to go there, where it's blue!


Sunny sunflowers, yellow leaves

All yellow, just like the sun on sunny evening

Yellow flowers, Wherever you look

A yellow shine, wherever I am

I want to go there, where it’s sunny.


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Reply by ₊‧°𐐪 vinny 𐑂°‧₊

posted

Your poem has a lot of potential, my advice is to avoid using the same words to not become repetitive. Try looking around for good alters for the words you want to use. With trial and error you will get there.


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Reply by Quinny

posted

this sounds so similar to lyrics i was writing a few weeks ago lol, its good, i like it :D


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Reply by emoriyama

posted

nice one!!! gives good vibes idk i like it 


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Reply by nico polaris

posted

really enjoy this, i love how the colors are repeated


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