So I'm getting a divorce and moving into an apartment next month. I'm so stressed and excited at the same time. Like I'm so scared I can't do it alone but I feel like it worth the hard work more for a place that is all mine. All my rules.
I really am hoping so. I am already plotting out my whole apartment in my mind everyday. Haha. I'm so glad I can have the colors that make me happy and my bed made my way and all these things. My husband never let me make things the way that made me happy because why buy stuff if we don't need it. And my living space is my recharge zone. It has to be organized and clean and relaxing or I stay anxious. And if I am anxious at home I never get a break and gain 90lbs and feel miserable all the time. And now I have learned how to be content and happy alone. I am alone almost all the time especially since covid. And now I can have everything my way and no loud noises! No one playing tiktok videos while I'm watching a movie!!! No one waking me up when he gets home at 2 to 4am! No one yelling at video games the whole time he is home! No more dirty carpet that no matter how many times I steam clean it gets dirty again because someone couldn't not wear his dirty work shoes in the house! No more watery moldy dishes in the sink. No more getting mad at my kitties for being kitties. No more someone taking my stuff that I like that makes me feel safe and comfy and taking it!
So basically I learned my anxiety means I can't have someone else in my space. And I am okay with that!
congrats, living on your own is awesome. IMO day-to-day things are harder (obviously depending on what you compare it to--if compared to living with someone supportive, it's harder, if it's with someone abusive it's probably much easier) but all of my happiest moments are things I experienced in private by myself. I love love love lonesome living, I wish it was possible financially.